Boku no Shitenshi ~My Angel of Death~
by kimi no vanilla
Summary: Crono has been returned to life, but Lavos isn't his only problem. Loosely based on events from the game. (Very light shounen ai. This is a work in progress; constructive criticism is welcome.)
1. At Death Peak

  
A big huge thank you and a virtual cookie go out to my truly divine beta-reader, CW. ^_^ 

  
  
_1. At Death Peak_

  
The next thing he remembered, frigid wind was blowing past his ears, and Marle's arms were thrown about him. 

"_Crono!_ Crono, oh my god..." Her face was burrowed into the nape of his neck and she was sobbing, even as she cast spell after spell over his battered form, healing the cuts and bruises and the bloody gash down his leg. "You're really alive..." 

"Yeah... guess I am," he murmured absently in response, leaning back against the stunted little tree with an expression of mild, dismayed surprise. 

_But I was supposed to die._

He was alive. It didn't seem possible. He recalled all too well where he'd been just a few seconds ago: standing before Lavos and Queen Zeal, weary and shaking, gathering in magic for the spell of his life; feeling calm, and peaceful, and so very _certain_. He was going to go down fighting; he was going to save his friends, and that would be the end of things, and the world would be right again. 

And now, inexplicably, he was sitting in the snow and cold, lying against a tree, and...he wasn't dead. He supposed he should be jumping for joy at this idea, but he couldn't quite seem to summon up enthusiasm for anything at the moment. 

_What just happened...?_

He noticed as if watching from a distance as Marle stood up, pulling him with her; and he made himself smile reassuringly as Lucca rushed over, tears running down her face, and embraced him. 

"I wasn't sure about this..." Lucca mumbled, pulling back, awkwardly rubbing at her wet cheeks with the palm of one hand. "But thank goodness it worked." 

_You weren't sure about what?_ he wondered absently, gaze wandering. Several feet down from where they were standing, he could see a slightly tattered red cloak and long azure hair flapping in the chilly wind. Their owner turned to look at him with a crimson gaze even colder than the uncaring gale. 

"Magus!" A shadow of surprise flitted through his mind--_He survived too?_--followed by a detatched, intellectual wariness that could not quite be called hatred. Regardless of his designs against Lavos, Magus was no one to be trusted...and there was only one reason he would seek out the people who'd defeated him. Crono's hand moved toward the hilt of his katana. 

Lucca and Marle turned to look down at the mage as well. There was awkward silence for a long moment, and perversely, Crono began to feel impatient. 

"Are we waiting for something?" he muttered sarcastically. 

The Magus's elvenlike ears twitched once, and his lips quirked upward slightly in an expression that might have been termed a smile, were not his eyes as cold and dead as ever. 

"I'm on your side, boy," he called up, taking a few steps toward the summit. "I just saved your life." 

"What're you--" Crono started forward with a scowl, but Lucca took firm hold of his shoulder. 

"It's true, Crono. Magus is here to help." 

"Without him," Marle added quietly, "we might never have found out how to bring you back." 

"You're really serious." His tone was incredulous as he continued to keep his eyes on the approaching sorcerer. 

"Yeah, we really are," Lucca murmured, crossing her arms over her chest as she turned away from him. "He wants to kill Lavos as much as we do. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that..." 

Crono shook his head. "That's an awfully big gamble. How do you know you can trust him?" 

Both girls stopped, and regarded his face silently for a moment. He was about to open his mouth and ask again when he realized that they were providing his answer. 

"Oh, right," he murmured. "Me." 

Marle stood awkwardly for a second more before suddenly reaching out and taking Crono's hand, a bright smile spreading across her features. 

"C'mon, let's get out of here, huh? A lot's happened since you were gone... I've got so much to tell you...!" 

* * *

It was a very long trip down the mountain. The cruel wind howled in his ears and bit at his extremities, and Marle's stream of happy chatter seemed never to cease. Lucca was no help in deterring the princess, as her only action was to trail behind Crono quietly, watching him with a grateful smile. This left Magus to guide them down the peak; he walked some feet ahead of the rest, leading the odd procession with an air of cool regality. 

Crono still felt strangely detached, and it was with this air of a neutral observer that he noted how oddly beautiful Magus seemed as the sorcerer stood near Death Peak's exit, waiting for the other three to catch up. His sky-tinged hair rested about his head in a feathery, wind-blown mess, and he held his scythe with one end of the pole resting on his shoulder, blade dipping back behind him; half-dried gore clung to its surface, a souvenir of the battles necessary to get up and down the mountain. Magus was watching him expressionlessly, and he shivered slightly under the gaze of those eyes that were as scarlet and dead as spilled blood. 

_An angel of death,_ something whispered in his mind. _He is a creature to beware._

_But I was supposed to die. Why should I fear the Reaper?_

The girls rushed ahead, Marle finally leaving his side now in her haste to get back to the Epoch; thus he was alone with his thoughts as he walked slowly over to the path leading out. 

Magus turned to watch impassively as the girls climbed into their time machine. Lucca waved at them through the cockpit window and then took off. 

"Where're they going?" Crono wondered aloud, watching as Epoch shot forward and disappeared from sight. 

"To drop off the princess," murmured Magus. "Then Lucca will come back and retrieve us." 

"They could've taken one of us with them." 

"I don't think they want to leave anyone alone out here." His face held no expression, but there was a note of amusement in his voice as he added, "Not even myself, apparently." 

"Yeah, that sounds like them, I suppose," Crono replied softly. There was silence for a while longer, and finally he turned a questioning gaze on Magus. 

"So what's in this for you?" 

"Hm?" The dead eyes glanced down at his face once more. "Elaborate, please?" 

"Why are you helping us...helping _me_?" Crono's expression was challenging. "Why do you want to kill Lavos?" 

"I helped to revive you because you are the glue that holds your little band together," the sorcerer answered matter-of-factly. "And as for Lavos... Vengeance, of course." He cocked his head in a questioning pose. "What other reason could there possibly be?" 

"What other reason?" Crono snorted. "We're not out to get some kind of revenge on that thing. We just want to save the future." 

Magus shook his head, and Crono was irritated to hear that faintly amused note in his voice again. "And thus, you are taking _vengeance_ for the ruined lives of the future." 

Crono opened his mouth to rebut that, but found he could not think of anything to say. 

"You're an amusing little creature, boy," murmured the sorcerer half to himself, raising an eyebrow, as he looked back out toward the horizon. "With your hair and your foolish notions. I think... I am growing fond of you." He cocked his head slightly again, as though the thought was very surprising. "What a remarkable thing." 

And then the whine of engines could be heard in the air, and Epoch was setting down to meet them again. 

  



	2. The Celebration

  
_2. The Celebration_

  
"_CRONO!_" 

Naturally enough, he was bombarded the second he walked into the square at the End of Time. 

"Lad, thou'rt...verily..." Frog was too choked to say more. 

"Crono, I'm so glad you're all right!" Robo placed a friendly hand on his shoulder; but the robot had to move quickly as Ayla bounded up and all but tackled the young man, embracing him fiercely. 

"Crono... Crono _alive!!_" she shouted, hugging him so tightly he could hardly breathe. 

"Yes, but--I won't be--" he wheezed out, "for very much longer--if you don't let go--" 

"Wh-wha? OH!" Ayla pulled back, shamefaced. "Sorry!" 

He took a deep breath, and tried to arrange his face into a reassuring expression. "It's all right." 

A few steps away, the old man was watching him quietly from under the lamppost, eyes obscured beneath the shadow of his bowler. But as Crono turned toward him with a wan smile, he reached up and slowly removed the hat, holding it against his chest. Gaspar, the Guru of Time, regarded his charge with a steady blue gaze that seemed to speak volumes. 

"It's good to have you back." 

Crono just watched him for a moment, before offering a slow nod in acknowledgement. "Thanks." 

Then suddenly, there was a pounding on the side door, and Spekkio's boisterous voice could be heard. "Hey, did I hear somebody shoutin' out there!?" The door opened a crack and the God of War poked his head through, glancing around at the group. He gave a start as his gaze came to rest on Crono, but quickly he recovered himself, flashing the young man a suave grin. 

"Spikey! You're back! Great to see ya!" Throwing the door wide open, he walked over to Crono and gave the youth a good-natured, if condescending, pat on the shoulder. "This is a cause for celebration. You guys oughtta go out and have a party or somethin'," he said loudly to the group as he turned and headed back into his room, closing the door with a slam. 

Marle winced at the noise. Recovering after a second, she rolled her eyes toward the door, then turned back to the group. "Well... As annoying as he is, he's got a point." She looked toward Crono with a mischievious smile. "I think we could use a break." 

Magus was leaning against the wall near the far end of the square. At this suggestion he looked over toward the group, volunteering quietly, "There are somewhat more impor--" 

"No one asked thine opinion, foul sorcerer," Frog hissed. 

Magus simply gave him a long, very cold look, and continued. 

"There are more important things to do currently than throwing a party." 

Lucca, who had been looking frantic, punched a fist down into one palm with a decisive nod. "Magus is right! There's no time, we have to kill La--" She stopped, incredulous, as Marle began to laugh. Realization dawned on her face after a second, followed by a disgusted groan. "I can't believe I just said that!" 

"...No time." Crono shook his head, lips quirking in a smile, genuinely amused. "Good grief, Lucca." 

Looking around at the group, the cavewoman concluded ruefully, "Ayla think we _really_ need break." 

* * *

"So!" 

Lucca clapped her hands together cheerfully as she threw herself down on the couch. Gesturing to the group currently standing around her living room, she continued, "I packed my mom and dad off to Gina's house for the night, and they said it was okay for everybody to stay here. So we've got the whole house to ourselves until tomorrow. I don't know about food and stuff..." she added in a thoughtful tone, kicking off her shoes and setting her helmet on the coffee table. 

"How's your kitchen? Well-stocked?" Marle asked. 

"Of course." 

"That settles that, then!" said the princess in a satisfied tone. "I'll fix us some snacks and stuff. I think we need a little music!" she suggested, grinning, as she disappeared into the kitchen. 

"Music..." Crono smiled faintly as he sat down beside Lucca, propping his chin up with one hand as he gazed toward the floor. "Well, I guess we could sing karaoke or something." 

"Karaoke?" Ayla wondered aloud. 

Lucca gave a mock shudder. "You _don't_ wanna know." 

Chuckling, Frog rose from his seat, removing his green mantle and draping it over the side of the chair. He adjusted Masamune in its sheath and looked over toward Crono with a merry glint in his eye. 

"Wouldst thou care to spar, my friend?" 

Crono shrugged, smile widening. "S'pose so, sure. I'll go grab my sword and meet you out back." 

"Aye, lad. I'll await thee." Frog walked out the back door. 

It was a beautiful afternoon in Truce Village. The sky was a vibrant blue, the sun shone down golden and cheerful, and the sound of birdsong was carried on the gentle breeze. In the Ashtear family's backyard, the eastern ocean could be seen glittering like a sea of jewels from the grassy cliff all the way to the horizon. In Frog's eyes, it was a perfect scene, except for one unfortunate blot: the Magus stood leaning against a tree, arms crossed over his chest as he gazed out at the water. 

"Thou must needs find a new place to brood," he said crossly as he walked by, stopping a few paces away and not bothering to look at Magus as he spoke. "Crono and I shall be using this yard shortly." 

"Surely you won't be using _all_ of it." Magus's voice was dry, and cold, and infuriating. "You're sparring, are you not? I might want to watch." 

Frog scowled. "How didst thou know of that? Some unholy spell?" 

If anything, Magus's tone became even drier. "These ears aren't solely for looks, you know." 

"Frog? Are you ready?" 

Crono's voice interrupted the confrontation. Frog turned to find the youth standing behind him, holding a sheathed katana in one hand and giving him an inquiring glance. The amphibian nodded. 

"I am prepared, lad," he said, drawing his sword. Masamune glinted in the sunlight as he gave it a few experimental strokes and slipped into fighting posture. "Art thou ready to be defeated?" the frog knight asked playfully. 

The young man's lips quirked, not quite a smile, as he threw his scabbard into the nearby grass and settled down into his own battle pose. "No offense, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna come out of this one on top." 

"Thou'rt likely correct," Frog acknowledged with a rueful nod. "However, mind thee to underestimate not thine opponent, lad! Many a fighter have I seen in my span of years who wast defeated simply through his overpowering vanity. And now--" He raised his sword. "Have at thee!" 

The sound of clashing blades rang across the yard, and Marle, Lucca, and Robo appeared in the back doorway to watch as the two expert swordsmen dueled. Crono had the advantage of height and reach, as well as the fresh, wiry strength of the young. But Frog had a solid strength that came from years of real life-and-death fighting of a kind Crono had only been introduced to recently; and the speed, not to mention agile tongue, that came with the knight's amphibian form nearly made up for what he lacked in other attributes. Thus, it was a fairly even match...except for the peculiar fact that Crono was being unusually sloppy. 

Marle watched Crono's face as the youth half-heartedly blocked a swing, and she frowned. "Something's wrong," she murmured to Lucca, who stood beside her in the doorway. 

Lucca just snorted derisively. "Thanks for that astute observation, Professor." 

"Well, you don't have to be mean about it!" 

"Lucca was merely pointing out that you stated the obvious," Robo intervened, standing behind the pair. "Something has _been_ wrong ever since he returned from Death Peak. It is not difficult to determine why." 

"I imagine it was quite an experience...just remembering how _I_ felt back at the Ocean Palace, and multiplying it times ten... I think I'd be the same way, if I were in his place," Lucca murmured. 

"But we saved him." Marle's countenance was worried as she continued to watch the young man. "He's alive! And not only that, he never died! What's there to be bothered about?" 

There was no reply to her question; this startled Marle enough that she turned her gaze toward the girl beside her. Lucca just gave her a long look. Marle's frown deepened as a tense silence stretched between the pair. 

"If you can't understand," Lucca finally said softly, expression hard, "why coming an inch from being killed would _bother_ someone, then I'm not sure you should be around Crono right now." 

Marle bristled. 

"How dare you." It came out as a low hiss at first, then gained a bit of volume. "How. _Dare._ You." 

She opened her mouth, as if to say something more, but evidently didn't trust herself to speak; turning away, the princess of Guardia stalked off. Nearby, Crono's sword fell to the ground with a clatter, followed by the youth himself. Frog had won. 

* * *

" 'Twas not right." 

The sun was setting now over the sea in the west. Frog shook his head, an odd feeling of trepidation growing inside him as he sat under the tree in Lucca's backyard, running a polishing cloth across Masamune's blade. 

" 'Twas just not right..." he murmured to himself again. 

"No, it wasn't." 

Frog gave a start as the Magus's impassive voice came suddenly from behind his right shoulder. 

"And what wouldst _thou_ know of it?" he spat in the wizard's direction before returning his attention to the sword. 

Magus leaned back against the tree as he had earlier that afternoon, glancing thoughtfully upward into the green canopy. 

"He let you win, did he not?" There was a hint of interest in the question. 

Frog looked almost surprised as he turned his gaze back on the sorcerer. 

"Aye. He did. 'Twas too, too easy... I have never had such a match with him before. He always amuseth himself by drawing it out." The frog knight's gaze was troubled as he turned to look out over the ocean. "I do not understand," he murmured, half to himself. 

"He wanted you to win. And more than that." 

"Wh... what?" Startled eyes turned back on the Magus yet a third time. 

Though his face, as usual, betrayed no emotion, there was a weary note now in his voice as the sorcerer said, "He wanted you to slip up. If you'd made a mistake, if you somehow had not been able to stop that last thrust as he went down--you would have run him through. Which is what he believes he wants." 

The words were met by shocked silence. 

"Art... art thou so sure?" Frog managed after a moment, voice strangled. 

"I've been watching him," came the reply, tone flat and dead once again. "I have some experience with this sort of thing." 

"I can imagine." Frog snorted. "Thou hast surely been the cause of it many a time." 

Magus looked out at the sea, and made no reply. 

  



	3. Dystopia

  
_3. Dystopia_

  
"Well, this isn't turning out quite the way I'd hoped." Lucca sighed as she dumped dirty dishes into the sink. "I wonder where Marle ran off to." 

"Ayla sitting out front, when sun higher in sky...um, _earlier_, is your word," said the cavewoman, carrying a pair of empty glasses over from the kitchen table. "See Marle walk away. Not look so good... What happen?" 

"Well, we sort of...exchanged words. Over Crono. I wouldn't call it a fight, exactly, but..." Lucca grimaced as she cleaned away the last vestiges of the evening's dinner. "She thought he was silly for acting depressed, so I stepped up to defend him... I told her she should stay away from him if she was gonna be so uncaring about what he's going through... Well, that was sorta what I said. But anyway, I think the whole bit about staying away really pissed her off. Either that, or she got my point. Maybe both." The young inventor plopped down in a kitchen chair and shook her head wearily. "I wish she wouldn't be so uptight about everything." 

"Mm." Ayla nodded slowly. "Me think she... get point, like you say. She...crying when leave." The cavewoman sat down beside Lucca with a small sigh. "Marle love Crono, very obvious to see. But Ayla no think Marle _understand_ Crono." 

"I'll second that," said Lucca emphatically. "Wonder if there's anything we can do...?" 

* * *

"There's nothing you can do, you know." 

The moon was a wide crescent, and it provided just enough illumination to make the confusion on Crono's face visible as he looked over at Magus. "What?" 

They were sitting together on Lucca's doorstep, side by side, watching the stars. Or more accurately, _Crono_ had been watching the stars. Magus had leaned back against the siding of the house, set his gaze on the youth sitting beside him, and never moved it an inch. The feel of those eyes on the back of his head made Crono's heart beat faster--and not entirely, he was sure, from nervousness. He didn't mind, though. It made him feel almost... alive. 

"There's nothing you can do," the wizard repeated tonelessly, leaning forward now, crimson eyes coming to meet Crono's blue ones. His face, as usual, was quite devoid of emotion. "Your window of opportunity just passed. Your friends have noticed you're not quite right... They'll be watching you like hawks. I'd say you're going to be among the living for a while longer." 

Crono stiffened, and forced his expression into a scowl. "I don't know what you're talking about," he lied, looking down at his shoes. 

"Don't bother to deny it, boy." Magus turned his scarlet gaze on the moon. "I know a death wish when I see one." 

"And... stop calling me 'boy'." He glanced over at the sorcerer with irritation on his face. "You can't be _that_ much older than me. I mean you-- er-- Well... we're about the same height... And you... you don't _look_ that much older than me!" he finished irately, folding his arms over his chest. 

"How old are you?" came the disinterested question. 

"...Seventeen." 

"I turn twenty-six next month." Magus brushed a stray lock of hair away from his face, eyes still turned toward the sky. "I'll call you what I like." 

Surprise overcame Crono's indignation. "You're only twenty-five?" 

"Why so shocked?" A raised eyebrow was the sole indicator of the wizard's amusement. "First I was young, now I should be old?" 

Crono shrugged slowly. 

"Wasn't thinking, I guess. But it's just that you... act a lot older than twenty-five." 

Magus cocked his head slightly to one side, as though the thought had never occured to him. "I suppose I probably do." 

They looked up at the stars again, and there was silence for a while. 

"How do you do it?" 

The crimson eyes glanced toward Crono once more. "...Do what?" 

Crono hugged his knees against his chest, resting his chin upon them as he looked out toward Truce Village. 

"How do you make yourself... keep on living?" he asked softly. "After everything you've done?" 

Magus watched him silently, expression unreadable. 

"Or is it just that you don't feel any guilt at all?" 

The sorcerer seemed to consider his question for a moment. 

"I don't suppose I would call it living," he finally murmured, glancing away. The pointed ears twitched once. "More like...existing. But I must continue to exist, until I obtain my vengeance. If I should die before my task is finished... Lavos would win." He shook his head faintly. "That is the one thing I can't allow to happen." 

"Why do you want to kill Lavos so much?" Crono asked quietly. "No offense, but... I'd think you would get along with a creature like that..." 

There was silence once more, for a very long while. Crono turned to look at the sorcerer, wondering if he'd said something wrong. 

For the first time since he'd met Magus, the dead look was gone from the wizard's face. What replaced it as he stared up at the moon was a pain so all-consuming that it made Crono's own heart ache in sympathy, and a hate that filled those blood-red eyes with an intensity he could barely fathom. 

"For Zeal," the sorcerer whispered. "For Schala. For taking my life away." 

He blinked slowly, and expression vanished from his countenance once more. 

"I was already dead, you see," he continued in a quiet monotone. Crono wasn't sure if Magus realized he was still there. "Janus Zeal died when he was sent to the future, and he left only his ghost behind. Death is all I have...my only wish, to share it with Lavos." 

His soul was crying as he listened to the words; but perversely, Crono's first thought was, _Janus... that was you? The scrawny, bratty, magicless little prince?_ Second came a crazy desire to immediately take the sorcerer in his arms and do--anything--to make the pain go away, but he _really_ didn't want to examine where that idea had come from. He settled for staring, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks, emotions chasing each other in a confused mess within his mind. 

Magus started slightly after a moment, almost as though he'd suddenly awoken, and he met Crono's stare with a wide-eyed gaze of his own. 

Looking away, he murmured shakily, "What is it about you that makes me _talk_ so much?" 

_'I think... I am growing fond of you. What a remarkable thing.'_ The words came back to Crono suddenly. _He sounded so detached, so... dead... when he told me that back on Death Peak... But now here, he's telling me how he already died, yet he's sounded more_ alive _tonight than I've ever heard him before._

_More alive than me at the moment, if I'm perfectly honest._

"Guess I've just got a charismatic personality," the youth replied with a weak smile. 

Without further words, Magus rose and opened the door, heading inside. Crono watched the sorcerer's former place for a long time. 

* * *

"Oh, there you are." Lucca was sitting on the couch, and she smiled toward Crono, raising her hand in greeting as he closed the front door. "What've you been up to, huh?" 

He shrugged. "Just sitting outside. It's nice out tonight." Glancing around, he wondered, "Where's everyone else?" 

"It's eleven o'clock, Crono! They're in bed!" 

"That late?" He looked a little surprised as he walked over to her. "I didn't realize we'd been out there so long. Um," and he pursed his lips slightly, sitting down beside her on the couch, "did you by any chance see where Magus went?" 

"Upstairs." Lucca shrugged, and set the book she'd been reading down on the coffee table. "He looked a little upset... I suppose this sounds mean," she continued wryly, "but it's a refreshing change to see him acting like he actually cares about something for once. Why d'you ask?" 

"Well, I sort of..." Crono glanced down at the floor. "I asked him something that upset him." 

"Oh." The word was flippant, and Lucca turned to reach for her book again. Halfway to it her eyes widened and her head whirled back toward Crono. "..._OH_." 

The youth nodded slowly. 

"So, he told you about... his past?" 

"The short version." Crono shrugged. "I take it that you guys knew already?" 

"Yeah. He told us when he first joined up." 

"Joined up?" Crono almost smiled. "Is that what we're calling it now?" 

Lucca laughed. "Well, what d'you want me to say? Should I call him the new recruit or something?" 

Crono shook his head ruefully. "I don't know. It's just that makes us sound all... official." 

"Well, what's more official than a group of heroes trying to save the world?" 

For a moment, Crono said nothing. 

"What's less official," he said quietly, tone cynical, "than some teenagers, a cavewoman, a defective robot, a guy with a curse, and a wizard who got defeated by said mere teenagers, going up against a creature that lives millions of years and can eat entire worlds?" 

Lucca sighed, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Little late to start doubting ourselves now, isn't it?" 

"Who said I just started?" he replied softly, still looking down at the floor. "It's the same thing I've been thinking since we set out on this crusade. I just haven't been brave enough to say it until now." 

"Or you haven't felt depressed enough." She raised her hand to give him a reassuring pat. "I know it can't be easy--" 

"I don't think you _know_ very much about it," he muttered bitterly. 

"It can't be easy," she repeated slowly, watching his face with concern, "having come so close to giving up your life. I was there too, remember? I remember how scared I was; I remember thinking we were all going to die..." 

"You _don't understand_," he whispered. An expression of pain twisted his face and he squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. 

"I was _ready_." His whisper was filled with tears, voice just on the verge of cracking. "I _wanted_ to save you all and I _wanted_ to die to do it...I was gonna go down fighting...I was gonna see my dad and everything here for me would be--would be _over_--" He shook his head again, teeth clenched vehemently as though he strained under a great weight. 

"But it felt so good, and peaceful, and _right_ and--" The faltering whisper stopped entirely for a second as he choked back a sob. "And I don't know if I can live like this, after feeling like _that_." 

Lucca just stared at him. 

"It was supposed to be the end." His wavering voice rose in a tone both bitter and plaintive as he opened his eyes to stare toward the carpet once more. "The main character dies to save everybody and they all live happily ever after, _the...fucking...end_." He placed his face into trembling hands, shaking his head again. 

She sat beside him silently while he cried. 

  



	4. Messages

  
_4. Messages_

  
He awoke suddenly, early the next morning, and for a moment he sat up and stared around stupidly and wondered where he was; then it came back to him, along with last night and everything that had happened therein. Magus lay back against Taban Ashtear's pillow and sighed deeply. 

_Why?_ his mind demanded, tone coming just short of hysterical. _What is it about that boy?_

He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. Rubbing a hand across weary eyes, he dismissed the whole matter for a while. 

Glancing to his right, he saw Ayla curled up quite catlike on top of the covers, a contented smile on her face as she continued to slumber. Quietly he slipped out of bed, heading past Robo's deactivated form and tiptoeing carefully over the futon which held the sleeping Frog, before padding downstairs in his bare feet. 

Lucca was already awake, a robe wrapped around her as she stood at the kitchen counter making tea; she gave a playful, appreciative whistle as he walked into the room clad only in a pair of loose pajama pants. 

"Didn't know you were so built," she said, waggling her eyebrows as she looked up and down the lanky, muscled chest, crisscrossed with old scars even whiter than his skin from years of living on the battlefield. He made no response to the teasing; a moment later, Lucca handed him a cup of hot tea and raised one to her own lips as well, blowing on the surface. 

"You're up awfully early," she remarked casually, walking over to sit down at the kitchen table. 

Magus took an experimental sip of the tea. It wasn't _quite_ hot enough to hurt. "I wake up when I wake up," he offered in quiet reply, leaning against the wall next to the back door. Lucca took a drink, and didn't speak for a moment. 

"Crono is very sorry about what happened last night," she murmured as she lowered the cup from her mouth. "He didn't mean to cause you any pain." 

"He didn't." Magus stared down into his tea. "He only asked a question." 

"You know what I mean." 

The sorcerer nodded slowly, and gave no further reply. 

"Where is the boy this morning?" he said after a moment, taking another long sip. "I didn't see him upstairs. Did he sleep at his own house?" 

"He's on the couch in the living room, actually." Lucca looked troubled as she set her cup down on the table. "He, um, didn't have the best night. He kinda cried himself to sleep... I just left him there for fear of waking him up." 

The young inventor was silent for a moment. When it became apparent no explanation was forthcoming, Magus cocked his head slightly and examined her with his impassive gaze. "What happened?" came the murmured inquiry. 

Lucca shrugged and, turning to face him, repeated the particulars of the conversation as best she remembered. When she finished, she was surprised to see him frowning ever so faintly. 

"Is he awake yet?" 

"Um, no," she said, flustered. "Why do you--" 

But without waiting to hear the end of her question, he walked out of the kitchen. 

As he left, she wondered softly to herself again, "Why do you care...?" 

_Care?_

He felt a modicum of surprise at the thought. 

_...Do I really?_

_What a very remarkable thing._

* * *

Crono didn't want to get up. He wanted to lie there and sleep forever, and the rest of the world be damned. 

Well, all right; that wasn't quite correct. He wanted to _die_, and the rest of the world be damned. It probably was anyway, with or without his help. After all, they had already faced Lavos once, and lost. If he hadn't saved everyone... 

_I saved them. They lived and I died and I saved them. Didn't they feel grateful for that at all? Why couldn't they have just_ left _me...?!_

He knew the answer to that already. They depended on him too much. But it _hurt_ so badly; and to be betrayed in such a fashion by his closest companions... He didn't want to think about it. It wasn't their fault. They meant well; they thought they'd been doing the right thing. 

But it _hurt_. 

"Boy." 

The Magus's voice drew him from his thoughts, and he opened his eyes to find the sorcerer standing over him, hair tousled, dressed in sleepwear. Crono didn't move or speak for a moment. As silence stretched between the pair, some part of his mind noted apathetically that those crimson eyes regarded him with an unusual intensity. 

"What?" he asked dully. 

There was quiet for a moment longer. When the sorcerer spoke, it was in a whisper; his voice did not seem altogether very different from the usual quiet, dead tone, and yet there was something in the words that made him sound almost human as he said: 

"Please don't die." 

Crono's eyes widened slightly, and he sat up to give Magus a quizzical glance. 

"Wh...why not?" 

"Because," came the reply, tone soft but steady, "I am an amazingly selfish person, and I am not sure what would happen to me if you did." 

"What?" Crono whispered stupidly again, staring. 

"You have many friends, you know." Magus glanced away. He paused for a long moment. "Existence is a chore and a burden. But sometimes there are reasons to make yourself keep going." 

Then, maddeningly, he turned and began to walk away. Crono spared only an instant to ponder those words before shooting up from his place on the couch and marching straight towards Magus, catching the wizard's arm. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" he demanded with a vicious tug. The sorcerer allowed himself to be turned around, and stood in the doorway to the kitchen, regarding Crono with a gaze that had cooled once again. 

"It was simply something that needed to be said." 

"That's not an answer--" 

"I think we've both had our fair share of soul-baring conversation for the moment." Magus's tone was firm as he removed his arm from Crono's grasp. "We can speak of this another time." Walking past a startled Lucca, he picked up his tea off the kitchen counter and headed out through the back. Crono glared at the screen door as it slammed shut. 

"Self-righteous bastard," he muttered, plopping down in a kitchen chair. 

Lucca shook her head incredulously as she walked over, setting a cup of tea and a piece of toast in front of Crono. "I'd tell you good morning, except that it isn't one, is it?" she remarked dryly. "What was _that_ all about?" 

Crono reached for the toast, and began pulling the crusts off in sullen silence. "I gather you told him about what happened last night?" he said after a moment. 

"Yeah," she said, wearing an awkward expression as she sipped at her tea. 

"Well, for some reason, that just touched him _right here_," Crono drawled, rolling his eyes as he placed a hand over his heart, "and he just _had_ to come share something with me, and he has the audacity to tell me...not to die. And then he said something real pretty and philosophical-sounding so he could walk off acting like he had all the answers." The youth snorted. "A holier-than-thou attitude doesn't come off real well when you're Mr. _Un_holy." 

"I'm pretty sure that's not how he meant it," Lucca replied quietly. "I'd say that's just how you chose to take it." 

Crono made no reply, and the room stood in silence for a little while. His expression sobered somewhat as he looked down at his food. 

"I'm making an absolute ass of myself, aren't I?" he asked, lips twitching in a humorless smile. 

"Well..." Lucca sighed. "We are a little worried about you." 

"This is all happening so fast," he muttered. 

Finishing the last of her tea, Lucca set the cup down next to the sink, and walked over to the door that led into the living room. "I guess I'd better go get everyone else up," she said, a little awkwardly, as she turned to look at him in the doorway. He was facing away from her, and did not acknowledge her words. "We have to get back to the End of Time pretty soon, y'know. Places to go, people to see, space parasites to kill..." 

Her attempt at a joke was met only by silence, and Lucca smiled half-heartedly. Without further words, the young inventor turned and left. 

* * *

For obvious reasons, Frog couldn't be the one to do it. Robo's appearance was a little too exotic as well. Though Magus might have passed as a random Mystic, he exhibited an understandable lack of eagerness to present himself at a traditional enemy's center of power. Ayla was, to put it frankly, much too wild to be taken seriously. And Crono... well, Crono was not exactly the most diplomatic person at the moment. Thus, it had unfortunately fallen upon Lucca Ashtear to troop all the way up to Guardia Castle and inquire about Marle--_if_ she was there--and tell her that the group was about to leave--_if_ Marle would consent to see her. 

The guards at the castle gate sent someone off to find the princess, following which they entertained themselves by sneering at Lucca until the messenger returned. The royal emissary looked at her with a surprised and dubious expression, as though he couldn't quite believe what he was saying as he announced, "Yes, her Highness claims you for an acquaintance, and has agreed to meet with you. Please follow me to the audience chamber." 

He wasn't the only person who felt surprised. As Lucca walked down the castle's entrance hall, she shook her head in bewilderment. _I didn't really expect to find her here. Just because she was a little angry at me surely wasn't enough to send her running home to daddy. I mean, she hates this place, doesn't she?_

They stopped in front of a large doorway, and the emissary stepped to one side, waving a hand at the door. "Her Highness, Princess Nadia Guardia, awaits inside. May I remind you," and he glared down at her disapprovingly, "to be on your best manners." 

"Right," she murmured, pushing the door open and stepping inside. She shut it securely again before turning around to see who awaited her. 

Sure enough, there sat Marle in an overstuffed velvet chair, dressed in royal finery. Beside her was another chair and a low table which held a silver tea service for two. The Princess of Guardia smiled awkwardly at her friend. 

"Hey, Lucca. Thanks for coming by." She gestured toward the other chair. "Sit down and have some tea and cookies." 

"Um, that's all right, thanks. I just ate," Lucca murmured, walking over to perch on the armrest of the second chair. "I came to tell you that we're getting ready to leave. For the End of Time, that is. So, if you're gonna come along..." 

"Although you'd rather I didn't," Marle remarked in a tone of studied casualness, one eyebrow raised as she bent down to pour herself a cup of tea. 

The young inventor sighed. "Look, Marle, I'm sorry if I offended you. But Crono's my best friend..." She leaned forward slightly as though to emphasize her point. "I look out for his interests. So if that's what it would take for him to get through this bad time, well, I'd offend everybody in the whole world. Including Magus," she added wryly. 

Marle gave her a short but genuine smile. "I think you'd be taking your life in your hands there." 

"Precisely my point!" Lucca gave the princess a grin in return. "So..." Her expression sobered. "Are we okay now?" 

Marle pursed her lips for a moment, and then nodded sharply. "Sure." She smiled again, expression a bit sheepish. "Sorry I walked off in a huff like that. It wasn't even much of a fight." The princess glanced off to one side. "It's just that I... well, I'm really... fond of Crono, you know?" 

Lucca was rigid in her seat, but her tone was casual as she replied, "Yeah, I'd kinda noticed." 

"Is it that obvious?" Marle's embarrassed smile widened for a moment, then disappeared, her face sobering. "I--I don't know. I guess I just couldn't face the fact that... maybe things _wouldn't_ turn out perfect, after all..." she said quietly, eyes turning toward the floor. "I just... 

"I just wanted everything to be the way it was." 

Lucca nodded slowly. 

"I know. We all did. But what's done is done... It can't ever be the same." 

She lapsed into silence, and for a moment, neither of the girls spoke. Marle sighed. 

"So, you guys are ready to go on with the journey?" 

"Yeah, we sure are." Lucca smiled faintly. "Can you just walk out of here, or are you gonna have to do some sneaking?" 

  



	5. Son of Sun

  
_5. Son of Sun_

_"...There's a very special stone that can shine its light on each generation, from the distant past to the far future..."_

  
"What in the world _is_ this place...!?" 

"You've got me there," Lucca mumbled, looking up toward the dim reaches of the arched ceiling. "But the architecture... This looks like..." 

"The Ocean Palace," Magus finished quietly. 

Crono sighed tensely, eyes flitting back and forth between the dark corners of the area as he took a few more steps into the room, one hand ready at the hilt of his katana. "Yeah. I noticed." 

Lucca pulled her gun from its holster, and glanced toward Magus. "So... Any idea what's going on here?" 

"How in the world should I know?" came the flat reply. The sorcerer frowned slightly, pausing for a second. "There is a great deal of magical power concentrated inside here. That's all I can tell." 

"Lovely." Lucca grimaced. Without further words, she started slowly up the stairs toward the platform at the room's center. 

The chamber was silent, save for the click of Lucca's steps on the metallic tiles. Crono drew his sword, taking a deep breath to try and calm his nerves. Magus watched impassively as the young scientist ascended. 

Crono glanced toward the wizard with a scowl. "Aren't you gonna take out your weapon?" 

A long moment passed as scarlet eyes met blue ones, and Crono fought to keep from fidgeting under the sorcerer's gaze. Finally, eyebrows raised, Magus remarked, "I fail to understand why you're so nervous. You should calm yourself." 

"Easier said than done--" 

"But for the sake of your peace of mind," continued Magus, the barest hint of sarcasm in his tone, "I'll gladly comply." He reached out into the air with one gloved hand. The space around it seemed somehow to blur for a moment, and when it righted itself, the scythe was resting in his grasp. "The fact that I could cast a spell in half the time it takes to swing this blade notwithstanding." 

"Can't kill everything with magic alone," Crono muttered, turning away. 

"Hey, guys!" 

Crono gave a start as Lucca shouted down from the center platform. She stood rigidly, her gun held out to one side, warily regarding what stood before her. 

"What is it?" he asked her, walking toward the edge of the platform he stood on. "We can't really see with you standing up there. From here it just looks like a big floating ball." 

"Same here," she called down, not taking her eyes off the thing. "Except that-- AAAAHH! OH, GOD!" She jumped back in horror, just missing the edge of the stairs, as the orb opened up to reveal what Crono could now see was a larger-than-life representation of an eye. 

"A giant eyeball," Magus observed disinterestedly. "That's different." 

"Lucca!" Crono's grip tightened on the hilt of his sword. "Is it alive?" 

"Um..." Lucca took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, as she walked forward a couple of steps. "I'm not sure, but... Well, it's not blinking or anything..." Slowly, she approached it again. 

"U-um... Nice Mr. Eyeball..." 

Hesitantly, she reached out, and nudged it at the center with one finger. 

_"EERRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARH!"_

"Oh, _shit_!" Lucca turned tail and ran down the stairs, the creature following her with more angry shrieks. 

"You poked it in the eye! Why the hell did you poke it in the eye!?" Crono shouted as he and Magus each sprang to one side of the platform, taking battle stances. 

"Where _else_ could I have poked it?!?!" Lucca snapped, turning to join them with her gun leveled at the thing. 

It stopped in the center of the platform. The creature let out another earsplitting screech as a column of flame shot up around it, coalescing into balls of fire that began to bob up and down, rotating around the eye slowly. 

"Crap..." Crono stared incredulously. "There's no way I can get at it through _that_!" 

"Perhaps we should attack the flames directly," Magus mused. 

"Are you crazy?!" 

"We're about to find out." A grim smile flitted across the sorcerer's face as he flew toward the creature, whirling around to thrust his scythe's blade straight through the center of one of the fireballs. The eye winced and spat a bolt of fire at Magus--the sorcerer dodged with a graceful backflip, landing next to Crono's side. 

"Hey, it worked!" said Lucca, surprised. "Maybe we should--woah!" She ducked and rolled to avoid another barrage of flames from the creature. 

"_Maybe_ we should keep our minds on the battle," Crono admonished her mildly. "Guys, let's concentrate our attacks on one flame at a time!" He leaped forward to slash at the same fireball, and was rewarded as it began to crackle and flicker. The flame swung at him, but he ducked backward and countered with an underhanded slash that caused it to vaporize completely. The creature screamed. 

"All right!" He grinned and prepared to strike at the next one. From behind him he could hear Lucca's gun going off, and a flame nearby splintered into small glowing pieces. The eye roared in pain and rage and flung itself at the nearest target--Crono. 

"Watch it, boy!" Magus jumped whirling into the fray, fending the creature off. 

"I can take care of myself!" Crono growled, slashing at the flames and receiving a few blasts of fire in return. 

"Then do so," the sorcerer countered, rending another fireball in two. The eye continued to shriek, and Lucca pounded round after round into a single flame. Crono finished it with one powerful thrust, and she started on another. 

"Plenty of room to work with now," the young swordsman observed, taking a few steps backwards. "Better move outta the way, Magus! _Confuse!!_" He shot toward the eye with a flip through the air, landing to perform a series of slashes so quick it was impossible to discern them all. The eyeball screamed in protest, its vital fluids flying through the air as Crono darted back and forth too fast for it to see, attacking from all directions. The remaining flames converged on him and he ended the assault, quickly backflipping to avoid their attacks until he was next to his two companions. Lucca fired rounds into the group until they backed off, returning to their positions around the eye. 

"Phew." Crono was breathing heavily. "I think that about did it. If that stuff is blood, then it's definitely gonna bleed to death, at any rate." 

The eyeball blinked. 

Magus glanced toward the young man. "Perhaps. But we still shouldn't let our guard--" 

"SHIT!" Lucca dove for the floor. "GET DOWN, YOU GUYS!!" 

Magus whirled around. "What are--" Crono tackled him, sending both tumbling to the ground just as a white-hot beam of light shot from the eye's pupil, sweeping the area. It exploded against the far wall and left a black, charred trench in the metal. 

"_Now_ who needs to watch it, huh?" Crono glared down at the sorcerer. 

"Get off me," Magus replied, face impassive as ever. 

Crono clambered up, reaching for his fallen sword. "Yeah, you're welcome for saving your life." 

"Consider us even." Magus propped himself up with his scythe and rose, turning to face the enemy. 

"Okay," Lucca growled as she rose, leveling her gun at the eye once again. "I'm getting just a little _tired_ of you, and I think it's time to finish this fight!" She held down the trigger and sent a steady stream of fire straight into the center of the bloodied eye. 

"I think you're doing it, Lucca!" Crono held his sword at the ready. 

"Right!" She continued to fire at the creature, whose screams rose to a painful pitch. Lucca gritted her teeth and kept her hands firmly on the gun's handle. "Why don't you just _die_ already?! You big, stupid--" 

With a last despairing shriek, the eye exploded. 

* * *

Lucca groaned. 

"This. Is really. _Disgusting._" 

Magus brushed some of the glop that had formerly been the Son of Sun from his face, expression unfazed as always. "You'll live. Wipe off your glasses and let's continue." 

"Marle's gonna be glad she stayed at the End of Time when she hears about this." Crono pulled absently on a strand of hair hanging in front of his eyes, now wet with goop and ichor. "Was there anything else up those stairs?" 

"I don't know! I was too busy getting _chased_ by a giant _eyeball_!" 

"Geez, don't get hysterical!" 

Magus started up the stairs. "We should go investigate further, then." 

Lucca thrust her gun back into its holster and climbed up after him, trying to wipe the slime from her clothing. After a moment, Crono followed. 

"By the way," she murmured, turning her head slightly as she glanced toward him, "glad to see you're getting back to normal." 

He blinked up at her. "Huh?" 

She gave him a small smile. "That fight was just about like old times. Except with Magus saving your ass instead of me." 

His lips quirked in return. "Hah. I probably saved you _twice_ for every time you helped me out." 

"Did not!" She laughed. 

"You two. Look." 

The pair reached the top of the platform to find Magus waiting for them, gesturing toward a pedestal next to the far wall. The group walked over to examine what sat on top of it: an orb the size of an infant's head, blue-black and opalescent. 

"It's beautiful," breathed Lucca. 

Magus looked mildly surprised. 

"It's... the Moon Stone." 

"_Oh!_" Lucca quickly wiped her hands as best she could on her soiled vest, and reached out to pick up the orb. 

"There's all sorts of things I could do with this, if we could charge it up into a Sun Stone..." 

Crono's tone was dubious. "And how, exactly, would we do that?" 

Frowning, the young inventor glanced toward Magus. "How was it done back in Zeal? Do you know?" 

"It was placed inside the Sun Keep and left to sit there for millenia. But there _is_ no longer a Sun Keep, as you'll recall," he murmured, turning his gaze away. 

Crono looked at Lucca. Lucca looked at Crono. 

"Yes." She grinned, glancing down at the orb resting in her hands. "Yes, actually, there is." 

  



End file.
